Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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