I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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