Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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