My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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