Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
