I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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