I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
