yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
