i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am mentally ready for anal.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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