I just saw a hot homeless man
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
