Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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