Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
