just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
