this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
