dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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