I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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