You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
