Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
