just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
