You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
