doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
this hospital has no fireball
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
