The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
