girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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