there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
