Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
