I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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