What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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