Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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