theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize