Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
