it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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