Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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