are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
