No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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