i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
