"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
