You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
