I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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