Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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