So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
