His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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