Texts From Last Night

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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I met the friendliest cop last night

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  (641): I met the friendliest cop last night http://tfl.nu/2xxe
  Replies (12) Good night (4585) Bad night (965)
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  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

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  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (79) Good night (53289) Bad night (2500)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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  (703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc
  Replies (19) Good night (6156) Bad night (1427)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds

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  (713): Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds http://tfl.nu/uf3z
  Replies (11) Good night (4868) Bad night (910)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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  (614): i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat. http://tfl.nu/0ifj
  Replies (9) Good night (3703) Bad night (1858)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...

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  (570): Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays... http://tfl.nu/ogn4
  Replies (10) Good night (2319) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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  (518): Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation? http://tfl.nu/dtaz
  Replies (11) Good night (2341) Bad night (2544)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

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  (978): just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins. http://tfl.nu/d5im
  Replies (4) Good night (1289) Bad night (610)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.

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  (601): No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911. http://tfl.nu/s9ui
  Replies (8) Good night (1827) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton

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  (401): The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton http://tfl.nu/me9i
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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  (713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick

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  (770): If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years. (570): Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick http://tfl.nu/xmct
  Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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  (336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.

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  (248): We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through. http://tfl.nu/hn3l
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (218)

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