I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your dad touched me again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
