discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.