She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
