I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.