I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
