pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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