I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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