yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
