I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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