Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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