you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize