Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize