I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize