First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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