I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
