I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
