So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
