I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.