Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i've created a new STD.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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