The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
