well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
