So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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