We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
