And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize