just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
