can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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