saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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