UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
